Aphorisms For The Cynical

[Relocated from 6:54PM, 19 December 2005]

Found at Stone Mirror:

# A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down a flight of stairs.
# Never say die. I've tried, and it doesn't actually make people die.
# Never underestimate your ability to overestimate your ability.
# Laughter is the best medicine, but in certain situations the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.
# It takes a village to raise a child to hate all of the people in the next village.
# The key to someone's heart is never lost: It's just that the locks were changed 'cause you're some sort of psycho.
# You have to learn to crawl before you can grovel.
# If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you're probably the executioner.
# Every dog has his day. Of course, his day consists of smelling other dogs' butts.
# You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. But he probably isn't going to be interested in some frog-kisser.
# True beauty is on the inside, where no one will ever see it.
# One person can make a difference, if that person is, like, Bill Gates or whatzisname, the speaker of the House of Representatives.
# Aspire to greatness. But remember that no one ever assassinated a refrigerator repairman.
# A high tide lifts all boats, except those with a big gaping hole in the bottom.
# There are none so blind as those who have been in an accident at a fertilizer factory.
# You can run but you can't hide, except apparently along the Afghan-Pakistani border.
# Say not that honor is the child of boldness, nor believe that the hazard of life alone can pay the price of it; it is not the action that is due, but to the manner of performing it. You got all that? Me neither.
# You can do anything if you want it bad enough. That is why we see so many people who can fly.
# Every failure is a step to success up a ladder that will eventually collapse under the weight of all those failures.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Yeah, right."\\